I am sitting here in my new art room. It has been a crazy eight weeks trying to make this place feel like home. I haven't been able to create art (unless you consider transforming a house to home art?) for all of that time. But I am seeing a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel. Soon the windows and doors will be in, and I will resume creating.Yay!
I love the message in this art piece. It says, "Self Love liberated her from the bondage of her insecurities." Isn't that just the most awesome truth?! I know for me that last year has been a doozer. I wrote a book, my children's dad died, we sold our house on the Sunshine Coast, and we bought a fixer upper, and we moved to Salt Spring Island. All this while I dealt with issues stemming from a lack of self-love and insecurities.
Anyway, you get the idea. It has been busy. Just not too busy that my insecurities haven't had a chance to pop up here and there. When I feel my fears taking me down a rabbit hole that I really don't care to go down anymore. The thought that I actually have a choice in how I feel, and how I perceive what others are saying and doing, has made a world of difference to my life. I have moments (a lot of them, actually) where I know, without any doubt, that I can love myself and let whatever it is that is triggering me, go. I can let it go! What a concept (for a rat on a garlic ring, like me). I have blessed moments of surrendering, and they are beautiful. Wow! This is huge for this sensitive soul who loves to make up stories--stories that are not very nice to myself.
I'm getting to the point where I realize when I am about to be triggered, and instead of going into the trigger, I can love myself, and trust my heart and intuition, instead. I can leave the unintegrated stuff, that others are dealing with, for them, knowing that the doubts and fears are merely a result of their own insecurities.
Perhaps insecurities underly all conflict in the world? Those feelings of unworthiness, of not being good enough, smart enough, pretty enough--they really get us worked up and reacting, don't they?
Anyway, I decided that I am going to be happy. I am going to love myself so much that I can love others even when they are behaving in a way that is hard to love. I am going to feel compassion for their ungraciousness, remembering that they might be just dealing with their own insecurities. It's tough feeling insecure. I can have empathy for others who may be feeling combative because of those insecurities. I have been there many times myself. And it really never had anything to do with anyone else. It had everything to do with how I was feeling about myself.
So that is it. I want to be happy. And I know that I have to love myself to accomplish that. I am me, and that me is lovable. Hope you are loving yourself, too.
Lots of love,