I am not initially inclined to view this situation as angelic intervention. Writing and Painting have become my daily connection with Source and make me feel fulfilled and connected, perhaps even for the first time in my life, to my tribe.
Creativity opened me up to falling in love with life and my fellow Earth travelers. So how could I possibly think of this new situation as divine?
Well, this is my challenge. Through reading books about the Law Of Attraction and A Course In Miracles, I have come to see life differently. Being presently laid up has brought me further opportunity to read Wayne Dyer's book Excuses Be Gone, thanks Laura! It seems to always be about the story I am telling about my life. How do I want to see things?
Admittedly I have been a bit bull-headed. I pretty much see things as cut and dry, and they never really are. Nothing like laying on the floor rocking in pain with intense pain in your arm to soften your resolve over taking pain killers! Right?
I am no stranger to physical pain either. In 1994 I went over a 1,000 foot cliff in my car and consequently suffered numerous injuries, including fractures to my vertebrae and a ruptured duodenum. This accident had me in hospital from mid August until almost October, and recovering from two surgeries for nearly two years. But I was much younger then and I believe being bull-headed actually helped me survive.
This time it seems to be a different message I am to get? Here I am writing this book on reframing my thinking, so I can attract that which I desire into my life, and I am truly put to the test. How can I possibly benefit from the very thing that is standing in my way in doing my art, and somehow see it as a gift? It certainly has me thinking. Not with my head but my heart.
To be honest, I am not sure that I have ever really had enough compassion for people who struggle with chronic pain? I always thought I was a tough girl. But in this moment, I am given the gift of immense empathy for those who struggle daily with chronic pain on an on-going basis.
So, how do I not behave like a spoiled child, who always gets her way, and instead behave like a person who is meant to be here learning from this?
Well, to start with, I can use this time wisely and gently. I have been resting, reading and feeling life through the lenses of compassion. Some how pain has made me softer, more emotional and raw. It has given me the opportunity to accept help, and see how wonderful my family actually is. Do I ever have great kids, and do they ever love their mom! I have so much gratitude around that!
Thanks to my daughter for stepping up to the plate, taking my doggy, cleaning, getting me food etc. And my husband who happens to be away working through all of this, it has been so hard on him. He wants to be there for me, so badly and he can not. He would just throw it all in and come home, but it has a ripple effect. It affects so many other families that I do not want him to do that. But once again, I am struck by the love. I am felling so blessed in love. Thank you honey!
I have way more compassion for my son who went through the last several years with shoulder pain due to an accident. I question whether I was compassionate enough? He is my hero now. He still struggles with chronic pain and has had to accept that as his reality.
So, I guess for now learning to see this time as a gift for learning, developing further capacity for empathy for those who struggle with chronic pain, appreciating the love that I get to have in my life and using this angelic arrival as an opportunity to be authentic and practice what I say I believe in. And that belief is that I can always make lemonade out the lemons I am given, no matter how hard it is to see it that way, when I am not getting to do what I want. Making this moment count, and embracing the good in it, no matter how difficult it might be, might actually be the key to really living.
I have to go because my shoulder is throbbing again. I am getting there, and one day soon I will get to paint again. One of my best sister friend's, Patty, says I am just fueling up with new material for when I can get back to painting and writing. I love her! And I kind of think she is right.
So much love to all of my friends! And to all that suffer with chronic pain, my love and enriched empathy to you! You are all heroes doing what you do while struggling daily! <3