I found myself spiraling down into a deep pit of fear and despair on Tuesday. While I was grasping for the sides of the pit, I ran into a dear friend, and even though I never said anything about what was feeling (about the fear I was experiencing) she could sense the fear-energy; which like Love-energy, is so powerful. Later that night my friend brought me over some of her home-made red lentil soup because of that silent connection. I can't tell you how much that resonance meant to me.
I love that I don't just plummet into a hole, never to return, anymore. I seem to have this inner-knowing that says, "Now is the time to do that work stuff you are incessantly talking about." I knew that the darkness I was experiencing was not good for anyone - least of all me. I want to contribute to the raising of the positive vibrational frequencies on this planet. Going deeper into the darkness is not going to accomplish that goal. I sense it is actually going to have the opposite effect.
We can only ever be part of the solution or part of the problem. Can you feel that truth deep within your cells? I can. I knew I was raising the negative vibrational frequencies with my fears, but my fear-mind wanted to go down that hole? I had to stop myself. I had to breathe so I could feel that I was not powerless like I was feeling I was. We all have a much greater Power-Force within us. We were born with this Power. But we have to evoke it. The physical realm - the realm we all find ourselves in at this time - seems to be the pain-realm, though.
Barry and I have just started reading The Book of Joy, by the Dali Lama, Desmond Tutu and Douglas Carlton Abrams, together. We are not that far into it yet, but already I have heard a few things that are quieting my fears. One is that Dali Lama says suffering is inevitable. But our response to that suffering is optional. He likens it to getting hit by an an arrow, and if we choose to see only our suffering (seeing ourselves as victims), we are actually making a choice to take two arrows - to be hurt by our hurt. So, in essence, we get to choose whether we will be hurt once or whether we will be hurt twice, by a situation.
The Dali Lama, who he himself has suffered greatly during his own life, has repeatedly chosen to take only the first arrow - the one which was out of his control. Even more, he has chosen to transform that first arrow into a gift. He says his life experience has been better for the struggles and the pain he has endured. His struggles actually given him a richer life experience.
There was something in those words that sparked a deep knowing within my own heart. I realize that today I am where I am as a result of having gone through my own suffering. My pain has led me to express my heart through painting, writing, making clay figures, recovering from addictions, and even having relationships with people - people that I love so dearly my heart could burst at the mere thought of them. So how could I ever, even for one second, feel resentment towards the pain that I have suffered?
I first heard of the idea of "practicing non-violence" ten years ago from a local community member and yoga teacher, at Yoga by the Sea, here in Roberts Creek. I had no idea what "practicing non-violence" meant, but it rattled around in my head for years, and still does today. I kind of know what it means now. Today there is more need than ever for us to begin to make the practice of non-violence part of our life. It means that we need to understand that we are always making a choice to be part of the problem or part of the solution. Hate does not stop hate. It grows it. If we want to heal this planet, we need to practice, compassion, Love, and as the Dali Lama and Desmond Tutu advocate; we need to practice the art, and healing Power, of Joy within our lives.
Now, I know we are all up to our eyeballs with this new and uncertain political atmosphere, we all find ourselves in. But, I believe we are being called on to make a choice here. Will we be marching for peace, or fighting against imaginary negative forces? That one decision alone will determine whether we contribute to the healing of our glorious planet, or contribute to experiencing even more pain; whether we choose the second arrow or not.
The sickness we are waking up to right now is not new. It has been here for a long time. But, the symptoms will not be suppressed or covered up anymore. The band-aid is being ripped off, exposing the wound for all to see.
I'm convinced that we must seek alternative forms of healing now, if we ever hope to address this gaping wound. We must do something different than we have done before. We must be brave, and apply the balm of Love to the wounds that are the hardest for us to apply it to. And we all know where those wounds that need addressing are.
Anyway, that is my two cents for this week. Sending Love, LIght and Resonance to the hearts of all. I am going to choose to take only the first arrow, and meet that arrow with Love and Faith. I will choose to be grateful for that arrow, as well, knowing it has the potential to take me to a better place than I have ever been.
Peace and Love,