Yesterday was an interesting day for me. I did my morning writing, reading etc. Then my hubby wanted to watch this video on the what is going on with the world economic state. It is not good. The fellow who was doing the talking was James Rickards, regarding his book called, The Death of Money: The Coming Collapse of the International Monetary System (Portfolio/Penguin).
I am not going to talk too much about what he spoke about, but suffice it to say that he gave us indication that we need to be responsible for our investments and how we would take care of ourselves and our loved ones, if the financial model, we now rely on, collapsed completely. He says there is a lot of evidence that this is already happening. He seems like a reputable inside authority on the topic.
So, after we watched that video, we went for a walk in our beautiful forest. We are blessed to live here, with many parks to choose from in the vicinity. As we strolled and breathed the fresh forest air, among the giant first growth trees and the stumps left from the days of logging gone by, I wondered what the real purpose of my life was. As I stood looking up in awe at the giant first growth cedar that measured approximately eleven feet across its base, I wondered what was 'really' important to be using this one life, I have been graciously given, towards doing something meaningful? And is what I do now meaningful enough?
As I reflected on these emerging questions, I felt calm, but also sad. I wondered if we should buy a piece of land on an island and become self-sufficient? Should we plant a garden, have a few chickens, rescue beloved animals and create a more grass-roots community? Where we live at this moment, even though we love it, it would not be a good place to create a life like that. It is out in the open with neighboring houses and wild animals all around us. I imagined a place a bit more isolated, some acreage and a lot of sun to support a down to earth lifestyle like that would be. It made me feel relieved to think of escaping all of the busy-ness of a life in this technological day and age I now find myself immersed in.
I thought of the video I had watched the night before, called Living On One Dollar. Where four young men from middle-class America go to Guatemala on the summer break from college. Two are film-makers. The idea was that they would go live amid poor Mayan people from the area who survive on just a dollar a day. They committed eight weeks to living in the same conditions as those lovely people.
It was an interesting show. The first couple weeks they are so lethargic and depressed that they consider going home. Then they become immersed in the culture and really get into what they need to do in order to make it work. It is an emotional movie. We got to watch as four young men grow up before our eyes and transform into inspiring men. They become committed to figuring out how to sustain themselves, become bonded with the community, learn from the village people's generous sharing, and the film becomes about the love and relationships that develop between the young men and that community.The line that struck my heart so deeply was when they note that, "They have so little but they share so much!"
There I was, luxuriously wandering through our beautiful forest, wondering what I was personally doing to make a difference in my world? Was it enough? Was I really generous? Barry and I sponsor about six kids in World Vision, We donate to Unicef, SPCA, a couple other charities, and we pay for two boys to be in a school called Mercy Caring, year round, in Kenya. But are we doing enough? Probably not. So it was going around in my head, as I walked down our lovely forest path, what more can we do? I know Barry was wondering the same thing. That is what I love about my husband. He has one of the hugest hearts I am blessed to know!
I have been doing my art, sharing it and inspiring people, who like me, are lucky enough to get to art for the sake of doing it. Sure, I love making art, but there is a little voice in the back of my mind that says, "That is not what it is about You are still off the mark. Yes you are happy and creating an abundant life for yourself, but there is more you can do for others and you are not doing it. You are still turning your back on the despair of your fellows who are in essence You." Hmm. Do you ever have thoughts like these?
Maybe it is depressing to share this with you all, but it is actually closer to my Truth than writing about my petty obstacles, like being blocked as an artist, would be. What if it is bigger than that? What if it is about being concerned about being blocked as a human being? What if my fear stood in the way of me expressing my Spirit, through doing all I can to help others, and being the best human I can be? What if, on my death-bed, that was the measure of whether I had been successful or not in this life? I feel in my heart that I am more on track when I consider that thought than any other.
Anyway, this is a glimpse into my heart for today. I hope this post finds you all well and I am grateful for your friendships, your emails you send me, and your hearts that you so generously share with me. Some of my most meaningful friendships have happened through sharing my art with you. So thank you.
P.S. You can watch a video of a day in the life of the kids we sponsor at Mercy Caring Home in Kenya, here.