be creative to boot (also I might want to mention, that it is important to me to have a life with my best friend, Barry outside of all of this art stuff). As some of you may already know, I posted my cards that I had painted in the summer when we were cruising in Puget Sound, and the newly printed cards, I made since being back here in Victoria.I had those images printed at Metropol. My friend and photographer, Wendy MacDonald shot my art for the cards, and any other projects I may wish to create with the images. She also took my picture and designed the bio for the back of the cards. I really love what both of these creative businesses did for my cards! I feel proud of the final outcome! Thanks for that! Now, I just have to figure out what to do with all of this....lol!
From the get go, when I looked at my paintings done in collage and acrylic paint, I saw them on greeting cards. I am not sure why really. I could see them on shelves in stores. Just like the images themselves, I saw them in their completion. For example, I had an idea about the giraffe. I could see her sitting all poised and elegant. I saw that she had on an over the shoulder dress on in an ethnic print. I saw her gloved front legs and the whole bit! I kind of even felt her personality. She was kind of delicate and sophisticated, not at all like me. I am not bashing myself here. I am rather laid back and prefer jeans. But I think deep down I am a little envious of the "Iman" type. Come to think of it, she does kind of remind me of Iman. Hmm....maybe subconsciously I knew this all along?
After making a few of my animal paintings, Madeline the zebra, the "Birthday!" elephant and the "Iman" the giraffe, I could see them all on blocks like tiles. This weekend my husband, Barry and I made a couple of these panels and I am very pleased with the results indeed! They turned out just like I saw them in my mind's eye! Below is a photograph of all of the material I used for this project.
All of the projects I have been involved in to do with my art, for the last several weeks, have been exciting and nerve racking at the same time. Sometimes I feel so confident that I can do this....or anything really. Other times I feel like I want to run, hide and quit? My mind works over time trying to sabotage my efforts. It says things like "you are never going to pull this off", "no one is going to buy these cards", "your not going to be able to find a supplier for wooden panels", etc. My ego wants to go there. But my heart soars ahead, coming up with ideas for other paintings and projects, like this blog.
So, from the beginning I told myself I would be honest with myself and others about how I was feeling with this process (my journey). Maybe if I pushed through my feelings and surged ahead, and someone saw me doing this....being brave, they would be inspired too. I believe with all my heart that there is abundance enough for everyone on this planet, and I wanted to temper whatever I do with that in mind. Is it easy? No, I am think I am like everyone else; my mind tells me awful things like: "covet what you learn", "someone may steal your idea", "you have no good ideas", "you will run out of ideas", "you don't have a style", etc. But, luckily for me, there are many creative and brave souls out there who are writing about this stuff. I started this creative journey as a child (I believe I really started this creative journey as a fetus really, because we are all creative forms of the One Great Creator) and back then I just played. I was not in touch with any agendas other than, "If I play, I can create". As an older child I had had so many struggles and I began to move away from my innate creative spirit, towards feelings of self doubt. This self doubt has been so hard for me to move beyond. It has been a survival mechanism that served me well over the years when I need that hard shell to protect me. But, I am starting to see that I don't need that hard shell anymore. That "my thinking" is what "really" matters and what dictates my life.
This is why with my last post, I had such a struggle. You see, it does not matter what anyone else thinks of me, my art,or my actions! But it does matter what I "know" of myself. I am still struggling here with the idea that things "need" to turn out a certain way, and in a certain time frame, for me to "look" a certain way. I understand now that I just need to lean into these feelings and stay the course! I believe in me! I believe in you! I believe we all can manifest our deepest desires! Maybe that makes me corny, but the truth is, I am a little corny, always have been and I hope I never lose that quality. I think it makes me a dreamer, a bit of a fifty one year old kid, and that is where my art comes from! And I like that. I want to be the ninety year old who goes sky diving, still wants to throw paint around, or at the very least, dresses inappropriately! lol
So there you have it. A week in a nut shell...."what kind of nut lives in a shell like this?" - Austin Powers. xo